We are about to get real here Mommas, cause Jesus just stepped all over my feet and so I feel the need to bleed in front of you. Prepare yourselves.
Somedays I wonder where the whole day just went and I ask myself, “what do I have to show for today?” My husband chuckles and replies, “everyone is still alive”. (side note: I married up. Not sure if I have said that enough, but I legit married a king and he is stinkin’ good to me). Other days I can’t wait to have an adult conversation and share the laundry list of to-do’s I managed to check off with four children in tow. I feel amazing at the end of those days. The issue is, I am rarely consistent. I have two crazy-supermom days and three we-are-alive days; or some random variation of that. It drives me bonkers. I want to conquer the world…yesterday.
This inconsistency has led me to question myself. My friend and I have been embarking on some reading materials to help us become better mothers in our words and daily life. In other words, I yell a lot and would prefer not to. I have been trying to figure out why and stop. In this self-discovery and reprogramming, I became convicted about my inconsistency with my quiet time. Oh boy. Put your seatbelt on. This is truly not rocket science people, but lo and behold there is a correlation between our attitudes and time spent with Jesus. Who knew?
I did. I knew. I have been preaching it for years. (insert face palm emoji). Somewhere along the road of marriage, and bliss, and wonderful babies, I allowed actually being still and knowing God to be tossed around like our piles of laundry. Don’t fret, I haven’t lost Christ. But my comings and goings with Him were just that…comings and goings. “Hop in the van Jesus, we are already late for this appointment and I am going to need you to hurry up and listen to this fast prayer so that I don’t blow a fuse on these blessings you bestowed on me”. The amazing hubs could tell when a volcano was about to erupt and encourage me to a moment by myself. I rested. Although only a “cat nap”, those moments allowed me to be still and concentrate on God. Despite the freshness it gave, it just wasn’t enough.
Let’s face it ladies, none of us want just enough. We want to KNOW God and be KNOWN by God. We want that deep intimate relationship. In that intimacy is where we find rest and wisdom. In that intimacy is where we find the energy and stamina to be the best wife and mother possible. It is our fuel. It is our bread. It is our life.
Speaking of bread, I found some that I had been chewing on. It wasn’t life giving, but rather stale and plain. Anyone familiar with Proverbs 31? I thought so. How about verse 27? It’s awesome:
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Well friends, there we have it. My feast for the past year or so. Idleness. “Atsluwth” is translated as sluggishness and laziness; it’s the only time this word is used in the OT. The word “to eat” is translated as devour, to feed. Deep sigh. I have found myself at the table devouring laziness and sluggishness. It comes in many forms but looks like this: social media, ignoring play time with the kids, ignoring quiet time with God, ignoring the needs of my husband, sitting on the couch with my phone glued to my hand, ignoring my health, etc. etc. You can probably fill in the etc. for me. The truth of the matter is, it is staring me right in the face and I just keep eating. Now I am ready to slap some butter on it and pretend it is yummy instead of dealing with the staleness of what life has become.
Does this speak to you? Because it surely jumped off the page of my bible when I read it. As a mother, I wouldn’t feed my family food that is old and stale, why am I feeding that to myself? Furthermore, my Father doesn’t prepare that kind of feast for me.
Ladies, hear my heart. WE CAN NOT IGNORE DAILY QUIET TIME. We have to renew our minds DAILY. If that means that we only get five minutes to slip away from everything and just be still, then that five minutes can’t be forgotten! I check my emails three plus times a day. Giving that up alone gives me time with Jesus. Don’t make excuses. Don’t settle for stale. Enjoy the freshness of the loaf that Christ has blessed us with. Let’s savor in Him.